Lately, I’ve been really putting myself out there. I’ve felt lost and I’m trying so hard to find my place, to find my way, to find the path fate wants me on. Because right now, I’m not on that path. I can feel it in my bones. I’m not using the gifts I’ve been given. I’m not giving them back the way I feel I could be. Except here. I do feel like my writing matters. But, this only reaches so far.
So, on a whim, I entered into an art contest. Self-portraits. This was my entry:
Will it win? Likely not. But it feels damn good to have tried.
And, you know what else? I reached out to a local art and sip to see if they needed artist/instructors. This is how that went:
So, I have an interview for that Tuesday after work. Exciting! Maybe art could be a thing for me. I don’t know. I never thought that was an option. But, I am following the academic path as well.
I sent in a chapter proposal and an abstract for a conference in Scotland. I’m still waiting to hear back from both of those; I don’t like getting my hopes up but… it would be cool. That’s me, playing it cool.
Oh, and I am in the process of officially changing my major in grad school. I might be crazy with all of this but I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of feeling like my talents are being wasted. I’ve got this beautiful, dark, twisted brain and my bosses don’t appreciate it; they don’t challenge me the way I need to be challenged.
Geez, I’ve gone mad, haven’t I?