Poem: Scars

Trigger warning: Self harm

This was written to be spoken word poetry put to music and such; maybe some day I’ll do that but for now, here it is in its plain ole typed form.

Scars

 

20180303_000002
This was drawn in response to the thought that no one sticks around…

I am not my scars
Or any of the things
that have happened to me.
I’m not the teen pregnancy
Not the miscarriage
Not the rape
Not the abuse
Those things aren’t who I’ve chosen to be
But more specifically
I stand for humanity and empathy
I do not succumb to bullies
That judge one for their past
Because you don’t know
You
Don’t
Know
Who I am
Who she is
Who he is
Where any of us have come from
the battles we’ve fought
The wars we’ve won
And the ones we’re still fighting

Inside of us there is art igniting.
All the bumps and bruises
the raised and angry scars
Are a testament
An installment in the gallery
Of a life well-lived
A hard life survived

Because life isn’t always easy
It’s 2am shouting matches
And a 5am alarm
It’s 500 calories a day
And a mirror that still says,
“You’re fat!”
It’s a mother that says she will
Rip your fucking head off
And a father that tries
Because to him
You’re second to the bottle
Always will be
It’s boys who think
your body is a valley
To be conquered and pillaged
It’s tough decisions
And loneliness
Abandonment
And Divorce
The antithesis of ecstacy
Because life isn’t always easy

So before you cast stones
Ask yourself
What kind of bones
Are hiding in your closet
Who are you and who do you want to be?
When people look at you
Who do you hope they see?
Because let’s face it
That isn’t always reality
There are those who won’t agree
Those who will only see
Your surface
Your jagged edges
Your bad days
And they won’t care
Not about anything else
Not about the image you try to paint of yourself
Because they are the bullies

The ones who try to hide that they’re broken
The ones who gossip
and cling to the hope
that no one will notice
How they represent the cruel words they’ve spoken
They are the ones that hurt people
Because they’re hurting
They paint on masks
Paint on smiles
Fall into the masses
Making cheap passes
Just clinging to the notion
That if everyone else is broken
Then they are still okay
Because that’s the only way
to get by
To live the lie
That life is always easy.

10 Thoughts

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s