In case you’re following the search for a therapist saga, here is where things currently stand with my 3 prospects:
I met with S yesterday. She was really sweet and she definitely has the empathy thing down but I don’t think attunement was there. The conversation had no flow. And she was too passive in helping things along sometimes. She also relies pretty much entirely on the therapeutic alliance. I get that technique, according to research, isn’t as important as the relationship but… my analytical brain needs some technique. Oh! Also, I could not get down with her office set up. It was in an insurance building, in a tiny square room, with a tiny square folding table. Like, we should have been playing bridge, not talking deep, dark secrets. I hate the whole, desk/table between us thing.
R: now this one breaks my heart a little bit. She just moved here from Missouri and doesn’t yet have her licence to practice in this state. She does have distance credentials so she can do video sessions and phone sessions; however, she let me know that she doesn’t want to start working with me in that way. She was incredibly reassuring that it was nothing personal and that she does think we are a good fit. She just believes that since I was recently hurt in a therapeutic relationship and so much is in flux for me right now, teletherapy wouldn’t provide the right kind of support. So, she and I are staying in touch. But, who knows when she will be set up with her own practice and license here. And, who knows if I want to go that long without a therapist. I think I could. I feel like I’m actually doing pretty well right now.
Dr. W and I are set to meet today, right after I get off work. So, she is still in the running for now. She may be a good person to work with until R is ready. Is that wrong though? To see one therapist, knowing eventually I’ll move on to another? I don’t know. It could either be good or bad for progress. I wouldn’t get attached, that’s for sure.
That’s really all. I’ll update the Dr. W portion after I meet with her later today. In the interim, I’m holding out hope…
And, since she is why I am on this hunt, an update on C. She emailed me again while I was on vacation. She was a bit warmer and expressed understanding that this has been difficult for me. Maybe she is coming around. I’m not going back there but it does make me feel a little better, seeing the human in her again. I just also know, if she had really cared the rupture could have been fixed. I told her precisely what I needed to fix it and I don’t think I was unreasonable. I don’t know, maybe she was just a “for a reason” person. You know, that saying about people come into your life for a reason, a season, blah, blah. I definitely learned to trust my instincts more. And, I learned that I am stronger than I thought. I can walk away from an unhealthy attachment and not fall apart.