I was going to just update the old post for the final verdict but I figured why not just create a new post. This is how today went:
Dr. W was running a little behind, so my session ran over a bit. Not a big deal for me. Certainly not a deal breaker.
She doesn’t seem like a particularly warm individual but she was level-headed and patient.
She was assertive enough that none of the silences became awkward. She asked questions but did not push me when I wasn’t comfortable answering.
Her office was nice and comfortable enough, though I had a migraine so it was a little too bright for my tastes in that moment. Verdict will remain out on that one until April 5th.
She is okay with email and text though I don’t think I’ll be using those things. Because I was burned before.
Her techniques are ones I didn’t personally align with when I took theory so I’ll need to brush up on those to know what I am getting myself into.
I decided to go ahead and give her a shot. She checks enough of the boxes. I think she will be good, at least until the counselor I really want to work with is available. I’m genuinely holding out for R. There was just something about her that clicked for me. She was the right amount of warm and sensible.
Anyway, I already have homework from Dr. W and it is on actual paper… written words! I was like, “Yes!” I love that. I don’t remember any freaking thing unless I can see it, so this works well. I think this is good for now. But I’m not going to get overly invested or attached. I don’t think that would serve me well in this relationship. I don’t want to attach to another therapist that lacks warmth. And anyway, maybe attachment isn’t the best thing for me? I don’t know.
The bummer side of things: she has a psy.D so she charges more which means I must use insurance and she must make a diagnosis. At this point she is submitting the diagnoses as Major depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder… no surprise there. I do wonder, it’s always been spoken but never made official, why are mental health professionals so hesitant to diagnose PTSD officially? My psych straight up said, “You definitely have C-PTSD/PTSD.” But then that was never coded on my insurance claims. Is it, perhaps, to protect me from any stigma associated with the diagnosis? What is the stigma? Things for me to ponder.
I’ve had way too much caffeine trying to get rid of this migraine, sorry if this was rambley.