What makes you feel frantic? What makes you wild with worry? For me, lately, it is money. Again, another one of those things that society doesn’t usually want us to talk about. But, here are some facts regarding my current economic health:
My salary: approximately $53k a year (that is U.S.)
Paid days off that I have remaining: 0
Days I had to take off last month: 6
Amount of money taken from my check for days off this month: $800
Cost of my monthly rent: $1271
Cost of my car payment: $423
Cost of my car insurance: $189
Cost of my cell phone and internet: $252
Approximate monthly utility costs: $150
Amount of credit card debt I went into trying to afford therapy with C: $4400
Cost of Doctor’s bills I just paid: $301
Remaining cost of medical bills: Approximately $2000
Impending costs of mental health services: $60 a session
We won’t even discuss my student loan debt. As you can see, though my salary for my state and country is relatively healthy, it doesn’t quite cut it since I’ve had to take so many sick days and those sick days are no longer paid days. I wish I had known before hand that work was going to force my hand; things really did go downhill after that. I’ve missed so many days because of medication changes and dangerous side effects. I’ve missed days from hospitalization. Things just don’t look good financially. My debt to income ratio is currently at about 50. That is not good. It is stressful. It makes me frantic with worry. It makes me wonder, have I dug myself into a hole that I won’t be able to dig myself back out of?
I know myself. I know I am resilient. I know I’m generally smart with money. I know I am capable of making sacrifices when needed. There are a lot of things that will likely work in my favor but right now I feel buried. I feel scared. I feel frantic with worry. And I wonder how many other people are in the same financial boat because they struggle with health issues (physical, mental, or both). I wonder how many people are struggling with money because our economy takes advantage of us. I wonder how many people struggle with money because they’re trying to make a better life for themselves but that isn’t financially reasonable in this society (unless you were born with privilege and money).