Have you seen the movie Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? There is this scene where the depressed robot shoots the Vagons with this gun that transfers his experience to them. They suddenly embody his depression. After my recent bad day, I actually find the depiction pretty damn accurate, if not a little over-the-top for comedic value.
When the Vagons are shot they all fall to the ground and groan:
“Oh, I feel so depressed”
“I can’t face it anymore”
“What’s the point?”
I don’t know about anyone else’s depression but this is pretty damn accurate of my own. Can’t get out of bed. Wonder why I’m even bothering. Don’t feel like I have the energy to keep trying. Just want to lie there and stop existing. So, given that, the fact that the robot keeps going on is kind of a big deal. The fact that we go on despite our own depression is a big deal. Even if going on takes succumbing to days of staying in bed and just crying, quietly (or loudly) contemplating existence and purpose.
This is precisely why I hate when people say it is “selfish to commit suicide”. On this day a year ago I wrote:
Suicide is not selfish.
Just as a btw to anyone who holds the belief that it is…
Generally speaking, people who attempt and/or succeed at committing suicide feel like they’re a burden to others. They probably feel like every one would be better off without them. They are definitely thinking about you; it’s just impossible for them to see how their death would truly affect you, because they don’t see themselves through a positive lens. They might feel unlovable. They might feel permanently broken, not fixable. They might feel like no one could possibly understand their struggle, even if they did have the urge to “burden” someone with it. And the fact that so many people see suicide as selfish indicates that maybe that last line of thinking isn’t too off-base.
I stand by that even more today. Suicide is just getting to the point where a person can no longer see the point, a purpose. He/she has lost their energy and vitality. He/she can’t see love or light anymore. That isn’t his/her fault. I don’t expect that anyone who has never felt this way will get it but it really has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with the soul-sucking nature of depression.
I just wish that others who’ve never experienced depression would take the time to really try to empathize, instead of point fingers. Or, deny the depressed person’s experience. Or, tell the depressed person how difficult they are to help when they aren’t magically fixed the way you think they should be fixed. Those things only make it worse.