I heeded the wise words of you, my fellow bloggers, and went ahead and made an appointment with another EMDR therapist. I just really did not have a good gut feeling about the second one. I don’t think I could count on her to help me contain anything that would become overwhelming, should it become so.
I do have a good feeling about the one I saw today, so hopefully it actually works out. She is a bit more than I can afford right now, so I might have to do biweekly sessions instead of weekly, which sucks. But, I would rather biweekly with a solid therapist than weekly with a therapist in whom I don’t really have confidence.
So, if you’re curious what makes this one different (maybe you’re on your own search for a therapist) this is what stood out about the appointment today:
1) she was incredibly intuitive. She knew when I wasn’t telling her the whole story. But she also knew when to push it and when not to push.
2) it felt easy to talk to her and she didn’t have to use self-disclosure to help me feel comfortable talking to her.
3) there was a good balance of me talking and her talking. I genuinely felt like she was interested in knowing my story. I didn’t feel like she was judging. And whenever she would interject it was to reflect or educate.
4) she asked questions I didn’t expect but that did feel relevant. Like, I have never been asked about whether or not I can actually make connections with a therapist (has it ever happened before). But she asked and explained why she asked. It made a lot of sense.
5) she empathized when I expressed lingering apprehensions about things surrounding the whole C debacle.
6) she emphasized safety. She made it known that she would ask about the self-harm even though she knows talking about it makes me uncomfortable. But that she asks because her primary concern is keeping her clients safe. She does not seem like someone who would jump to hospitalization though, which is also good.
7) lastly, she already knows my group therapist, so it will be easier for them to collaborate.
The session with K, that’s what I will call her, actually went so well that I am afraid something will happen and she will decide she doesn’t want to work with me after all. Because I’m so used to things not going well these days. I’m jaded. Keep your fingers crossed that this ends up being as good as it seems it could be, please. 🤞