What Insomnia Looks Like

Insomnia is insidious! I talk often about the depression and the anxiety and the nightmares. But I don’t ever say much about the insidious side effect of the nightmares, insomnia. I am a pro at lying in bed for hours, tossing and turning, while my brain mulls over the threat of sleeping. And ultimately, it decides, “no, thanks.” Hence why this is currently what my nightly routine consists of:

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That’s melatonin, valerian root, ambien, magnesium calm, and a calming sleep essential oil for the diffuser. Even with all of that, I still wake up like clockwork at 1:30 am. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I wonder if that time has some significance because it happens so often. I get about 4 hours sleep, if I am lucky and then I am up, faced with the decision to either take more meds and be groggy in 4 hours when I get up or keep tossing and turning for a few more hours and then just give up and get up. I’ve been vacillating between the two choices lately. I’ve got to say, they both suck.

What do you do for insomnia? I’ve tried all the above supplements. I’ve taken Lunesta. I’ve done the benadryl thing. I’ve done legs up the wall and meditation. I’ve tried a shower. What am I missing? What else is out there?

12 Thoughts

  1. Have you tried yoga nidra? It is helpful for inducing calm generally, but also is restorative in the way that sleep is MEANT to be, and often isn’t for us trauma survivors, so it can help refresh you even after not enough sleep. I do also sometimes find it helps me fall asleep — although generally the aim is to NOT fall asleep during the practice to get the full benefits, there are specific practices online designed to induce sleep. I’ve practiced on and off for a while, but am lately struggling more than usual with vivid, intense, emotionally charged trauma dreams all night, so am trying to get back to doing yoga nidra every day as it is meant to be great for helping restful sleep and easing PTSD/anxiety symptoms.

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    1. No, I haven’t but that is a great idea! We were supposed to have an opportunity to do it as part of our yoga teacher training but we didn’t get the chance. I’m positive I can find something online or locally though. Thanks for the suggestion!

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      1. There are loads online on youtube. Also on spotify I can recommend Julie Bladon’s guided ones – not sure if it’s available where you are but her voice is lovely!

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  2. I don’t have any magic solutions, but I’m just commenting to say that I know it’s so frustrating when you can’t sleep and it’s all you want to do. A lot of times I use music or white noise, as that’s the only thing that calms me. I hope you find some relief soon.

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  3. I have a lot of trouble sleeping at night, too, and it can really mess with my schedule and productivity the next day. I’ve heard that CBD oil really helps with insomnia, and health stores are beginning to stock it, I think. I also love Yoga Nidra for sleep, and I have my own favorite guide. He has an irish accent which I find to be so soothing and comforting. I’ll post it here:

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