Almost 30

My birthday is in 2 days. I will be 30. I keep looking back on my 20s and wondering if maybe I’ve had my priorities wrong this whole time. I’ve accomplished a lot, technically, but what do those things even matter?

I’ve been married. But I got divorced. I’ve loved and been loved. But all of those relationships severely crashed and burned. I learned how to paint and draw. But I never use those skills anymore. I got my B.A. and became a teacher. I had a good run at that but then I ran from it the way I run from everything else.  I’m working on a second M.A. which will hopefully lead me to a path that feels more right for me. I got certified as a Yoga Teacher and I definitely see good things coming out of that. I started this blog which has been amazing, as it has connected me with all of you. I really feel like all the things I have accomplished that are for the best are those things I’ve accomplished in the last year. I’m only just finding myself.

It is sort of bittersweet. I know that this means I’ve got, hopefully, years and years of more positive growth, of finding myself and of helping others. But it also means I spent 9 or 10 years just chasing down dreams that were never meant for me.

11 Thoughts

  1. nah, don’t look at it as wasting time — you were acquiring the varied skills you need for whatever your future holds! nothing goes to waste — NOTHING! the fact that you are narrowing it down is a sign that you’re learning how to be your best self in the world. buckle in, the 30s are amazing!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Love this! Thank you. I’ve always looked at people in their 30s and seen such amazing confidence, so here is to hoping for some of the confidence I saw and admired in others all these years.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A full life includes lots of dead ends, risks, and disappointments. A very bright and accomplished friend tells me, “I like to make new mistakes.” That’s the important thing: keep trying and keep learning and you will grow. Never stop. Said by a man way older than you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I really like this, thank you. I can definitely place hope in continually making mistakes and learning from them. I’m quite good at that bit. Haha

      Like

  3. You’re around the same age as me. Wasn’t until my 30’s I really seemed to pull things together but as slantgirl said above it doesn’t mean the years before were a waste. Just preparation! Happy birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy birthday in 2 days!
    In those years you were chasing the “wrong dreams” you learned a lot about yourself. You wouldn’t be you without them! Thank them for what they gave you – good or bad, we learn from both!
    Keep going you are doing great!

    Liked by 1 person

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