So, I went to group last night, even though I’ve literally been sick about this whole thing. I’m glad I went though because things have taken an interesting turn.
We all walk in and take our seats. Both J and L are there. First thing, L tells us that due to the concerns raised about her not being able to make group a safe place for us, she wouldn’t be leading group. Then she goes on to say, “I’ll be starting my own process group on the same topic. You all have my information if you’re interested.” I don’t know about you but this really, really rubs me the wrong way. The fact is, she isn’t a good fit for us, that wouldn’t have changed; however, the fact that she is starting her own group tells me she didn’t take what we said to heart at all. She isn’t ready to run a process group. She doesn’t know how to listen. I think it is incredibly irresponsible. And fortunately, I wasn’t alone in these beliefs.
One of the fellow group members felt like last Wednesday was so toxic that she was considering calling the ACA and presenting a case that L wasn’t even ready to be a counselor until she had more counseling herself. I’m actually quite glad that it wasn’t just me with the perspective that she behaved unethically. I question my own perspective a lot but for both of us to see it that way shows me that it wasn’t all just in my head. Unfortunately, we can’t actually make a case against L. So, we have to sit back with the knowing that she is not competent to run a group, yet she has made that choice anyway.
As for what happens to our group, we get two more sessions with J. Next session, J will let us know if she could find someone outside her practice who is willing to take us. If she couldn’t then she will give us referrals. And we might have to be split up, which really sucks. We have already built something and it would be super lame to have that something turned upside down because the first and only therapist to take us on wasn’t a good fit.
I don’t know. It is a mess. But, at least, J talked to me and told me what she told L. I believe her when she said that she never tries to paint a client in a negative light. I think that L misinterpreted what J said, just the way she misinterpreted what all of us in group were saying. I trusted J and I’m erring on the side of continuing that trust.