Wednesday, my therapy day, was quite unusual. There isn’t any way my words will do justice to the events of the day but I’m still going to try. The best way I can describe the day is through the notion of Synchronicity. This is basically Carl Jung’s fancy explanation for those strange coincidences that feel more like the manifestation of our innate sensitivities and intuitions rather than just random, meaningless events.
I began the day the same way I always do: with coffee (protein powder and carnation) and quiet meditation. I’ve been waking up late these past few weeks so there wasn’t a whole lot of time for this before I had to shower and get ready for individual therapy with K. While I was in the shower I had this random thought: today I should share my art with K. She and I had discussed this before; K explicitly expressed interest in seeing my art, if I was willing to share. It was my intention to share a few weeks prior but I couldn’t find my sketchbook, so I let the idea go. But this day, it felt pressing. As soon as I got out of the shower, even before I got dressed, I went straight to this bag I have of random stuff that had been chillin’ in my car. I looked in the bag before and couldn’t find my sketchbook but it must have always been there because I found it after a few minutes of digging. I made sure to put the book by my keys, so it wouldn’t be forgotten. I got dressed in a hurry, grabbed the book, my keys, my purse, and then head out.
It was a particularly rainy day, which means no one was doing anywhere near the speed limit. I text K, letting her know I would be late. As soon as I got there I noticed she had all kinds of art supplies out on the table between us; this was definitely out of the norm. As it turned out, the day I felt such a pressing urge to share my art was also the day that K felt it was important for us to talk about how we could incorporate art into my therapy. Now, if this were the only weird thing to happen that day, I would say, “coincidence” and let it go; however, group was equally as weird.
The structure of this new group goes something like this: check-in, psychoeducation/activity/skill, discussion/practice, activity, check-out. For check-in on this day we just introduced ourselves and stated what we hoped to gain from group. I said something lame about trying to reconnect with the part of me who knows how to have fun. After check-ins we went over this handout with all sorts of awful definitions and statistics regarding sexual assault and rape (psychoeducation). R, the group therapist, then had us draw on a shield something we associate with strength. We only had about 5 minutes to do this and I spent half of those minutes with a blank, quiet mind. No idea what to put on this shield. The quiet in my head was a welcome reprieve though, so I sat with it. And then it hit me: water. That is my sign of strength. So I drew two cliffs being chiseled through by a body of water. We each had to explain our shields to the group. When it was my turn I said, “I chose water because it is an unassuming, subtle, and persistent strength. Water is soft, so we don’t often think of it as being firm. But with persistence, it can erode rock formations.”
This is where the second bit of synchronicity comes in; the next activity involved us kicking back with a weighted yoga prop. The prop symbolized a boulder. The boulder was a metaphor for our traumas. R walked us through a visualization of the boulder slowly being whittled down by healing waters. Eventually, with enough time and patience and perseverance the boulder becomes a pebble. At this point R trades out the weighted prop with a small pebble for us to keep. I was less struck by the metaphor and more awed by this second seeming coincidence for the day. I asked R about the water. She said she had planned the visualization the night before so it wasn’t just that she chose one that would align with one of our strength shields. The connection was completely random.
On my drive home I started to think maybe there was more to the coincidences of my day, that maybe Wednesday was just a particularly intuitive, sensitive day. Any time this starts to happen in my life, it makes me wonder, have I finally found my way back to my path? I don’t believe in destiny or fate or some predetermined set of circumstances but I do believe we are all part of something bigger. Everything and everyone is interconnected. When things like this begin to happen, I feel like I’ve stumbled upon the grandest of harmonies.