Self-Compassion Letter

My TS therapist has been trying to get me to write a self-compassion letter for ages. I haven't done it because I'm stubborn and it seemed difficult. After a few tough weeks of no therapy and then a few tough weeks of therapy, she brought the letter up again. This time I figured I would [...]

I’m Human and I’m not Sorry

After my first year in the Clinical Mental Health Counseling graduate program at UT Tyler, I recieved this as my annual review results: I met expectations and exceeded expectations on every category. This year, the faculty decided that I did not meet expectations in almost all areas. These are the results I recieved today: If [...]

Gratitude and The Sh*t I Don’t Want to Say

This post serves two purposes: I want to celebrate the incredible gifts I've received in therapy but I also want to explore my story, the shit I don't want to say. I've been down lately, in one of the valleys of my recovery. I've built this incredible foundation in my team of mental health professionals [...]

My Truth: Living w/Passive SI

Today was a big day for me. It may not be considered a big day for most people but for me, for someone who has struggled for decades with passive suicidal ideation, it is a big deal what I accomplished in these last few minutes. See this line of pills bottles: I've been holding onto [...]

Back to Mental Health Routine

Yesterday I had ALL the mental health appointments. It was so much mental health focus. I had a video session with my group therapist to process some relational stuff there because I've found myself crossing boundaries with her, in a way that doesn't feel authentic to who I believe myself to be. So, we discussed [...]

What is Normal?

Yesterday in my Advanced Psychopathology class we revisited the idea of normalcy and abnormality in relation to mental health. The professor showed us this slide: And he assured us that all of us were "normal" because the department had viewed our applications to the program and we all got in, so nothing sent up any [...]

Life as a Teenage Beauty Queen or Creating the Feminine Machine

This is an old one and a long one but hopefully worth the read still: I would like to invite you on a journey, not across space, but across time, my time, the time I spent living in the body of a teenage beauty queen. This isn't science fiction; there won't be a time machine, [...]