Life is still happening

I feel like I've been doing an awful job of keeping up with my blog lately. A lot has happened in my life. K and I had our last session. So heartbreaking. I had my first session with J, since K left. It was decent, nothing to phone home about. I'm just hoping the connection [...]

Gratitude and The Sh*t I Don’t Want to Say

This post serves two purposes: I want to celebrate the incredible gifts I've received in therapy but I also want to explore my story, the shit I don't want to say. I've been down lately, in one of the valleys of my recovery. I've built this incredible foundation in my team of mental health professionals [...]

My Truth: Living w/Passive SI

Today was a big day for me. It may not be considered a big day for most people but for me, for someone who has struggled for decades with passive suicidal ideation, it is a big deal what I accomplished in these last few minutes. See this line of pills bottles: I've been holding onto [...]

Back to Mental Health Routine

Yesterday I had ALL the mental health appointments. It was so much mental health focus. I had a video session with my group therapist to process some relational stuff there because I've found myself crossing boundaries with her, in a way that doesn't feel authentic to who I believe myself to be. So, we discussed [...]

The Glory of Working on the Crisis Unit

Friday was a miraculous day on the crisis unit. I came in and first shift updated me on some of the madness on shift. We had a client who lost a loved one, an 8 year old child. We had to find some way to get him home for the funeral, a 22 hour bus [...]

Medication Update and Most Recent EMDR Session

So, you know how I've been pretty stable lately? I think that has been, in part, due to finding the right combination of medications. I talked to my insurance today (the new insurance since my last plan ran out) and there is a pretty good chance my Latuda won't even get covered because it isn't [...]

What is Normal?

Yesterday in my Advanced Psychopathology class we revisited the idea of normalcy and abnormality in relation to mental health. The professor showed us this slide: And he assured us that all of us were "normal" because the department had viewed our applications to the program and we all got in, so nothing sent up any [...]

General Update

My life lately has been in a constant state of fluctuation but I'm finally starting to feel like things are settling down. I figured in light of that I would write a general update post, you know one of the ones that is all nicely broken down into sections. I will bold the really important bits so [...]

I’m a yoga teacher

The day finally came! I graduated from yoga teacher training yesterday! 200 hours of practice, observation, learning, and growing. What an amazing early birthday present to myself. I never would have thought a year and a half ago when I went to my first yoga class that the next summer I would be getting certified [...]

Things depression and anxiety will tell you

Things depression and anxiety will tell you, if they're allowed... Depression will tell you that you are as invisible as you feel. Depression will tell you that you aren't good enough. Depression will tell you that no one would miss you if you were gone. Depression will tell you none of it is worth it. [...]