Hiking Therapy

Recently, walk and talk therapy has become a thing. In the wake of K leaving (she and I have our last appt. June 20th), I've considered whether or not I want to stick with EMDR. And, I've considered things like walk and talk therapy because I love the idea of bringing the progress outdoors, where [...]

Gratitude and The Sh*t I Don’t Want to Say

This post serves two purposes: I want to celebrate the incredible gifts I've received in therapy but I also want to explore my story, the shit I don't want to say. I've been down lately, in one of the valleys of my recovery. I've built this incredible foundation in my team of mental health professionals [...]

My Truth: Living w/Passive SI

Today was a big day for me. It may not be considered a big day for most people but for me, for someone who has struggled for decades with passive suicidal ideation, it is a big deal what I accomplished in these last few minutes. See this line of pills bottles: I've been holding onto [...]

Back to Mental Health Routine

Yesterday I had ALL the mental health appointments. It was so much mental health focus. I had a video session with my group therapist to process some relational stuff there because I've found myself crossing boundaries with her, in a way that doesn't feel authentic to who I believe myself to be. So, we discussed [...]

The Glory of Working on the Crisis Unit

Friday was a miraculous day on the crisis unit. I came in and first shift updated me on some of the madness on shift. We had a client who lost a loved one, an 8 year old child. We had to find some way to get him home for the funeral, a 22 hour bus [...]

Broken Heart

Well, J called me yesterday at 1:30PM and told me that she didn't think it was ethical to agree to be my individual therapist. I expected that to be the answer but I had hope that she would be different. My heart is broken. She is just another person, in a string of people, who [...]

Some Random Ramblings

First thing is first, I'm sorry I've not been around much. I'm trying to periodically read posts, like them, and comment. I want you all to know I'm still about, supporting you and quietly cheering you all on as you progress in your individual journeys. I've been even worse at actually creating posts. I've been [...]

Medication Update and Most Recent EMDR Session

So, you know how I've been pretty stable lately? I think that has been, in part, due to finding the right combination of medications. I talked to my insurance today (the new insurance since my last plan ran out) and there is a pretty good chance my Latuda won't even get covered because it isn't [...]

What is Normal?

Yesterday in my Advanced Psychopathology class we revisited the idea of normalcy and abnormality in relation to mental health. The professor showed us this slide: And he assured us that all of us were "normal" because the department had viewed our applications to the program and we all got in, so nothing sent up any [...]

General Update

My life lately has been in a constant state of fluctuation but I'm finally starting to feel like things are settling down. I figured in light of that I would write a general update post, you know one of the ones that is all nicely broken down into sections. I will bold the really important bits so [...]