Life is still happening

I feel like I've been doing an awful job of keeping up with my blog lately. A lot has happened in my life. K and I had our last session. So heartbreaking. I had my first session with J, since K left. It was decent, nothing to phone home about. I'm just hoping the connection [...]

A Letter to Caffeine

For my addictions counseling course, we have to give up a substance which we are presumably somewhat addicted to... as part of the assignment, we also have to write a letter to our substance. To be included in the letter are these components: How my addictive substance/behavior is loved and is considered a “friend” How [...]

Connection Between Body Weight and Health

This whole smaller body equates better health thing that society perpetuates is interesting to me. As someone who gained 70 pounds, then lost 60 pounds, then gained 10 of those back, I feel like I've gained some perspective on this whole social construct. In the photo I chose for this post, I am at my [...]

The Vanishing Girl

When I was a little girl, I used to practice being invisible. If I was invisible then I couldn't be yelled at, devalued, or hurt. At least that is what my childhood mind told me. Now, I know that doesn't make any sense, I am not, nor have I ever been, a vanishing girl. I was [...]

Let me Grow to Maturity in Missouri

This morning I sat curled up in the fetal position, in an old wooden chair, in an unfamiliar place, having Thai tea instead of my normal morning coffee/protein shake. In the midst of all this unknown, I was awed by the beauty all around me. I thought for a second, maybe this is what growth [...]

There is no “suddenly” about positive change

Change is bloody hard. Sometimes it feels downright impossible. This is especially true for positive, lasting change. I've been thinking a lot about this since quitting therapy with C. I keep asking myself, "did I bail for the right reasons?" Because I dedicated myself to the therapy process. I told myself I was going to [...]