Life is still happening

I feel like I've been doing an awful job of keeping up with my blog lately. A lot has happened in my life. K and I had our last session. So heartbreaking. I had my first session with J, since K left. It was decent, nothing to phone home about. I'm just hoping the connection [...]

Hiking Therapy

Recently, walk and talk therapy has become a thing. In the wake of K leaving (she and I have our last appt. June 20th), I've considered whether or not I want to stick with EMDR. And, I've considered things like walk and talk therapy because I love the idea of bringing the progress outdoors, where [...]

Gratitude and The Sh*t I Don’t Want to Say

This post serves two purposes: I want to celebrate the incredible gifts I've received in therapy but I also want to explore my story, the shit I don't want to say. I've been down lately, in one of the valleys of my recovery. I've built this incredible foundation in my team of mental health professionals [...]

My Truth: Living w/Passive SI

Today was a big day for me. It may not be considered a big day for most people but for me, for someone who has struggled for decades with passive suicidal ideation, it is a big deal what I accomplished in these last few minutes. See this line of pills bottles: I've been holding onto [...]

EMDR today

I haven't been sharing much about my therapy journey anymore because, well, it has mostly been about putting out the fires in my present life. But, today I got to process some past stuff with EMDR. I've been in therapy for several months now and we have used EMDR to process some present traumas but [...]

Asking for what we need

I had therapy with K yesterday. I was going to tell her that it had to be our last session, that I couldn't afford anymore. But then, she just said and did all the right things. I couldn't walk away. So, we set an appointment for 3 weeks from now, when I should have money [...]

Ghosts

Do you believe in ghosts? Yes, I mean the kind that go bump in the night. The specters caught between real and not real, past and present, energy diverted. I just watched Haunting of Hill House on Netflix and it made me think. I thought of the fine line between what's real and what's not. [...]