Haunted by Nightmares

I've spent years having sleepless nights filled with nightmares. I had almost gotten used to it but then medication offered me a little bit of hope. I stopped having as many nightmares. They were almost gone. And even when I would have them, they wouldn't hit me with such intensity. But, I think, maybe, I've [...]

Life Update

I've been doing a lot of waxing philosophical lately and I've got to tell you, it is an avoidance tactic. I kept trying to will myself into this amazing life of hope and enthusiasm. And, for a while it worked. But, not everything has been great. So, here is just a general life update. Group [...]

A Look into my 3rd Therapy Session

As you know by now, I started therapy with a new therapist (a clinical psychologist) recently. There isn't that intense draw to her that I felt with C but she does know how to ask the right questions and I do feel less like I am at risk of being judged by her, so these [...]

When Self-Care Hurts

Sometimes the things we do to take care of ourselves are going to hurt. Sometimes they're going to hurt like Hell. As long as they are healthy and truly rooted in self-care, do them anyway. Yesterday, I may have taken my self-care routine a little too far but opportunities presented themselves and I took them. [...]

Yoga IS my Glimmer of Hope

In the wake of so many losses -- some chosen, some not-- (my grandfather, my therapist, (impending) my job, (impending) my apartment, my plans for the future), I've been clinging to the only glimmer of hope I really feel like is consistently left in my life: yoga. I guess we can call this blog an [...]

Maybe there is hope…

Just a general update, nothing wise here. I had another session with Dr. W yesterday. As well as an appointment with a different psych. Needless to say, yesterday was emotionally draining. The psych was less gentle than my usual psych. So, when she said things that implied I wasn't trying enough because I broke down [...]