I am not an Imposter

I am not an imposter among survivors. I am not a victim. The other day a former friend called me a victim, told me I'd always be that way, that I push people away, that I'm hard to help. I let myself feel hurt and victimized by those statements. I let her words become prophetic. [...]

Chesed and the Therapist as Enlightened (Empathic) Witness

First and foremost, I admit, I am not Jewish but for this blog I do want to talk about a concept that is familiar to Judaism. If I mess this up in anyway, please forgive me for my ignorance and feel free to educate me on my mistaken understanding. I recently read of this idea, Chesed; it [...]

Cognitive Return to Easter

Today, I drove out to the lake to see where my father is living. The house is... lacking but sufficient. It's barely a step up from where we came from. But, it's temporary and it's by the lake. While I was there I was able to do some yoga by the lake which was nice. [...]

Sanctuary from a Dim World

Sometimes even the brightest lights don't shine quite as brightly as they usually do. Even the sun is obscured today, making for a world that is literally and figuratively dim. The fog has been acting as a thick blanket this week, effectively erasing tall buildings, cars, people. It's a strange experience of the world. My [...]

You’ve Got to be Willing to Risk Failure

Tonight I realized two things: 1) If I want to see myself grow, I've got to be willing to risk failure. I have to be willing to venture into the unknown, to walk away from all my familiar surroundings. 2) For years, I have been adamant that I wouldn't believe in God because God was [...]

Abstract Longings for What Might Be

TW: this blog will cover issues of rape/sexual assault, so if you're not feeling particularly safe and supported please take care before reading. Every year someone inevitably tells me: "You know, they say, 'whatever you are doing to bring in the new year is what you will be doing for the rest of the year.'" [...]

Wilting in the Shadow of God

With my grandfather's death and funeral I was reminded of the kind of Christianity my family practices. It isn't the kind that believes in grace as acceptance of all those who are not worthy. It isn't the kind that believes in mercy or forgiveness for every sinner. It is not the kind that believes in [...]