My Truth: Living w/Passive SI

Today was a big day for me. It may not be considered a big day for most people but for me, for someone who has struggled for decades with passive suicidal ideation, it is a big deal what I accomplished in these last few minutes. See this line of pills bottles: I've been holding onto [...]

Life as a Teenage Beauty Queen or Creating the Feminine Machine

This is an old one and a long one but hopefully worth the read still: I would like to invite you on a journey, not across space, but across time, my time, the time I spent living in the body of a teenage beauty queen. This isn't science fiction; there won't be a time machine, [...]

This isn’t where I thought I’d be

As I approach almost 30 years of life and I take inventory of where I have been and where I am, I realize, I am no where I thought I'd be. I never thought at 29 I would be waking up at 7:30am to break-up texts because I wasn't ready to be more physically affection. [...]

Life Update

I've been doing a lot of waxing philosophical lately and I've got to tell you, it is an avoidance tactic. I kept trying to will myself into this amazing life of hope and enthusiasm. And, for a while it worked. But, not everything has been great. So, here is just a general life update. Group [...]

Finding My Edge

This week for yoga teacher training I had to write an essay about how I find my edge. In this case edge is being defined as, "a place of comfortable discomfort, where growing and healing happens." However, when I think of edge, the word is riddled with negative connotations. Edge to me is the sharp [...]

Poem: Scars

Trigger warning: Self harm This was written to be spoken word poetry put to music and such; maybe some day I'll do that but for now, here it is in its plain ole typed form. Scars   I am not my scars Or any of the things that have happened to me. I'm not the [...]