My Truth: Living w/Passive SI

Today was a big day for me. It may not be considered a big day for most people but for me, for someone who has struggled for decades with passive suicidal ideation, it is a big deal what I accomplished in these last few minutes. See this line of pills bottles: I've been holding onto [...]

The Reality of a Wellness Check

If you live in America, you may already know what a wellness check consists of, but for those who've never had the police called on them to "check on their safety" then I'm going to let you know exactly what happens and how you will be treated, at least how you will be treated in [...]

My Mental Health Team

I think I've finally found the right combination of professionals. I saw my psychiatrist today and she was patient as I refused to produce a urine sample (after the $3220 debacle). And she was patient as I refused to give blood because I just didn't see the point (hello, depression). She was disappointed but gave [...]

Finding My Edge

This week for yoga teacher training I had to write an essay about how I find my edge. In this case edge is being defined as, "a place of comfortable discomfort, where growing and healing happens." However, when I think of edge, the word is riddled with negative connotations. Edge to me is the sharp [...]

Depression Has No Face

In light of the recent deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, almost everyone is talking about suicide. We all have our own opinions and our own takes on suicide and depression (though suicide doesn't necessarily have to mean the person was struggling with depression; there is just a pretty good chance that was the [...]

Depression is like…

Have you seen the movie Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? There is this scene where the depressed robot shoots the Vagons with this gun that transfers his experience to them. They suddenly embody his depression. After my recent bad day, I actually find the depiction pretty damn accurate, if not a little over-the-top for comedic value. When [...]

16 hours of sleep and PMDD

I'm going to do that thing Society says women shouldn't do: talk about my period. If this makes you squeamish then maybe don't read this one. If you're someone who struggles monthly, perhaps you'd like to read on. Last night/yesterday, I slept for 16 hours. This is coming from someone who typically just can't ever [...]