My Truth: Living w/Passive SI

Today was a big day for me. It may not be considered a big day for most people but for me, for someone who has struggled for decades with passive suicidal ideation, it is a big deal what I accomplished in these last few minutes. See this line of pills bottles: I've been holding onto [...]

EMDR today

I haven't been sharing much about my therapy journey anymore because, well, it has mostly been about putting out the fires in my present life. But, today I got to process some past stuff with EMDR. I've been in therapy for several months now and we have used EMDR to process some present traumas but [...]

Back to Mental Health Routine

Yesterday I had ALL the mental health appointments. It was so much mental health focus. I had a video session with my group therapist to process some relational stuff there because I've found myself crossing boundaries with her, in a way that doesn't feel authentic to who I believe myself to be. So, we discussed [...]

Sorry for Disappearing

I do that sometimes, disappear. Sorry. But, I'm here now. I haven't felt like I had anything of any interest to post. I figure I can't just keep staying in the dark though, so I will fill everyone in on what has been happening in my life anyway. School I start my practicum this semester. [...]

The Glory of Working on the Crisis Unit

Friday was a miraculous day on the crisis unit. I came in and first shift updated me on some of the madness on shift. We had a client who lost a loved one, an 8 year old child. We had to find some way to get him home for the funeral, a 22 hour bus [...]

Hugs in Therapy

Today was a day of therapy. I saw K at 1 today. We talked a lot about my different parts. She said she wanted to keep things simple today. She reassured me that I did a good job talking through things today and that I felt less resistant in session today than I have in [...]

Group and My Spirit Animal

Last week in group we did a visualization at the end. We were to imagine ourselves in a forest. And to imagine a guide. I saw a buck. We were asked, as homework, to do something to connect with our guide. I drew mine (and colored it while at work; I get to do that, [...]

Another EMDR session

Tuesday I saw H, the therapist who is covered by my insurance. She was nice. She seemed smart. But, I chose not to make a follow-up appointment. I know I could be saving a lot of money every month but it means something to me that K tries so hard to make sure my needs [...]

Asking for what we need

I had therapy with K yesterday. I was going to tell her that it had to be our last session, that I couldn't afford anymore. But then, she just said and did all the right things. I couldn't walk away. So, we set an appointment for 3 weeks from now, when I should have money [...]

Experiences of Synchronicity

Wednesday, my therapy day, was quite unusual. There isn't any way my words will do justice to the events of the day but I'm still going to try. The best way I can describe the day is through the notion of Synchronicity. This is basically Carl Jung's fancy explanation for those strange coincidences that feel [...]